I have way to much sugar

I have Sucanat, unrefined cane sugar, agave syrup, honey, brown rice syrup, molasses, palm sugar, brown sugar, two kinds of powdered sugar, tons of hotel room packets (I threw the pink packets away, not sure what they were), and plain old white sugar I give to those I don’t like. Along with the 2 corn syrups, that goes to people I don’t like too. I was struck by this knowledge cause I was sitting in my hot house (85 degrees inside) drinking hot coffee thinking maybe that wasn’t the smartest thing and decided to do something foo foo to my coffee. I’m generally black only, once I was shopping and a Starbucks person came around with samples and they asked me if I wanted a caramel-mocha-hoozy-whatzit topped with a blop of something resembling cool-whip. I’m not to familiar with the fancy coffee world and I was taken by surprise but I just looked at the poor kid and said OMG WHAT? Now turn the whole thing into a brownie or something ok, but caramel in coffee? Is that normal? Anyway I now have my quart jar of foofoo coffee and wish I had some ice. I ended up with 2 cups of coffee, palm sugar, sucanat, and brown sugar, and 2 cups of goat milk, not too bad over all. Big, but not too bad. Could be colder.

Joe is up at Fort Lewis alone this week, he drove his beast truck up because we couldn’t figure anyway to drive him up and get him back logically with other stuff going on. I got the joy of getting the kids to work and performing a complete house clean-up and clean-out before he gets home on Saturday. If they do well he’s going to pay each kid $10 to take to Disney so I have a bribe to back my efforts up somewhat. But it really doesn’t help that we’re having our more than likely hottest weather right now. I don’t care that other parts of the country hit 100 regularly, it’s not supposed to do that here so I can whine. Anyway, my parents summer party is on Saturday night, I’m making a chicken salad I stole from Pampered Chef (I still think the only way to pamper a chef is to not make them cook) and Joe is making lomi-lomi salmon, I don’t know if that’s spelled right because I’ve never spelled it. Next day is Disney.

I finally called Joe up and said hey, can I get something planned? I’m all for the fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants type trip but doing something as spendy and far away as Disneyland I’d prefer to have something lined up and not end up sleeping in the van once we get there. We have almost 2 weeks to blow so once we get the 3 Disney days out of the way we have about a week to head north and see what happens along the way. Then I don’t mind sleeping in the van lol. So anyway, I lined us up for 4 nights, an extra just because I wanted to muahahaha, at the Portofino. It’s pretty…..yellow…..looks like Jamaica…..and the lobby floor looks shiny. I got the kids suite which means the kids have their own room, or the adults have their own room…..however you want to look at it. That means that I don’t have to watch Spongebob if I don’t want to. I’m sure it means other things too. How many people do you think take the shower caps in hotel rooms? I always do. Why? I don’t know. I like to wash my hair when I take a shower……and if for some reason I don’t want to wash my hair I just don’t stick my head in the water.

Once things get back to normal I have a tur-duc-hen to cook. I got it half price and stuck it in my freezer……15 pounds of a strange meat product……mmmmmmm. Things may not get back to normal for a while though, Joe had his eye appointment and they said he needs eye surgery so that’s just one more thing to get taken care of under the highly efficient auspices (?) of the military health care system. Not complaining mind you, we make out like bandits on the deal but it doesn’t seem to be cost effective. He’s been stuck up in Washington since June 13th and I don’t think they’ve really done anything much yet to him. Maybe he just hasn’t told me, I don’t know…..they said he qualified for being sent home and being treated locally so it seems like they would get that moving so they don’t have to pay his hotel room to have him up there doing nothing. Oh well.

Good golly it’s hot in here, still only 85 though. Joe called and wanted me to buy a lottery ticket lol. I never buy lottery tickets. Maybe I’ll win. Well Katies friend just called and wants Katie to come over so now I need to shower and crack the whip on the room cleaning so she can go. Why are kids so messy?

Boys Stink

Because I’m a girl I speak from my perspective…..boys stink. I was standing at Walgreens today in line getting the last minute crap for Anna to take to camp, cheap flashlight that may last the few days, flipflops to serve as “shoes that can get wet”, 25 cent water bottle because I hate water bottles and always end up donating them to Goodwill, and a disposable Pooh Camera because the two real ones she has have never worked. Anyway, I’m standing there and there’s this middle aged couple in front of me, the lady sees some straws that flavor milk when you drink through them, strawberry, chocolate whatever your fancy, and got all stoked, like “I haven’t seen these in forever” and obviously got some flavored milk straw rush of a good memory from them. Whatever, they were only $2 for a box. She never even asked to get them and the guy goes “you don’t need those”, and she goes “maybe we can get them for Jeremy”, and I’m thinking “prick”. I think that a lot lately. I motioned to the lady like I’d toss a box in the basket and she laughed and said she’d come back later and get some. OK….here’s a question, why can’t the lady get the flavored milk straws? They had a basket of other crap so it wasn’t poverty, you know if the man wanted something he would just get it. Why does she have to come back to get something? If flavored milk straws float her boat isn’t it a cheaper happy than the assorted pharmaceuticals that are so popular and don’t really seem to work? Pre-deployment I would do that, figure it was easier. What’s a little self-respect anyway? Post-deployment I haven’t given up control of the money yet and plan on never being without my own again. Only took me two hubbies to figure that one out. First hubby’s shining moments of generosity were the $1.25 string of beads I “didn’t need”. No I didn’t “need” them, I wanted them and for pity’s sake it was our honeymoon, camping lmao. The second stand out huh moment was the 75 cent strudel at the Octoberfest. Um….who “needs” a piece of strudel anyway? I “wanted” a piece of strudel. Did I mention that was first hubby? As in no more hubby, I just moved on and married another one….smaa-aaaart.

I may as well keep the stinky boy thing going. I’m being punished again….I dared to question bitchymilf87 and lisamona and their presence in the computer, now mind you I don’t care who or what he does, my only request is that he tell me and I have no confidence that he will. Hence the silent treatment………not really such a bad deal anymore. I’m just trying to decide if I call and see if he wants us up for the fourth, go as planned, or just ignore him and take the kids to the beach. Hmmmmm….. You know, the whole MILF concept is just weird. Why would anyone want to be one? And why in my hubby’s opinion does he call hooker looking gals MILFS? Isn’t the concept that they are MOMS and therefore mom-like? Moms don’t look like hookers as a rule. Do they? Ok, shaking myself off here and moving on. Actually think I’m done for now, I may just sit back with Slightly Stoopid and a cup of coffee and look at the mess surrounding me.

Ever had this happen?

You make the kids grilled cheese, not just any grilled cheese but kick ass grilled cheese, for dinner and send them out into the yard with a plate. Because you were just scrounging around in the fridge and clearing out you get yourself some leftover salmon and rice with spicy soy sauce, good in it’s own right but the grilled cheese looked so dang good. So about an hour later you just can’t resist and make a bunch more. While you’re waiting you decide to look for decent blogs and you get sucked into one about weaves versus not weaves and while trying to leave a comment which isn’t working your sandwiches start burning. Salvageable but not gonna be quite as kick ass. Ever had that happen?

It didn't quite last two months

More like 16 days. I’m not too surprised but was hopeful there might be just a smidge of something to work on. What is it with people who just lie? If you walk into a room wearing a blue shirt and I take a picture without you knowing and then you leave the room and come back with a yellow shirt don’t you think you would just tell me why you changed shirts if I asked? Would you deny that you changed shirts and launch a personal expletive filled attack about every illogical thing under the sun? When I showed the picture wouldn’t you just say “oh yeah, I did change shirts….sorry”? When presented with obvious evidence that the shirt was changed why not just admit it rather than fly off into some pseudo-rage about how if I don’t believe him we may as well get divorced and he’d rather be paying child support than being questioned. If I can’t ask a question about something that is my business maybe we should, ok fine it’s long overdue, I think it’s worse to be denied the right to any opinion or thought than it is to be asked a simple question that could be answered with a yes or no. You changed the frickin shirt, I have the dang picture, I didn’t make you change your shirt so admit it.

I guess I know why people don’t just leave, how do you just leave when the person you’re leaving appears to have no clue as to why you would be leaving? Maybe he knows exactly why and that’s why he does it, maybe he knows as long as he won’t allow me to say what I want/listen when I do, maybe he knows I won’t leave till things are settled. Well I will, eventually, I know regardless of him ever growing up or not I’m 36 and want to enjoy life. If I’m supposed scurry around after him in fear of upsetting the Almighty Overlord screw that. That wouldn’t work anyway because I don’t have to do anything to upset the apple cart. His current obsession is that I’ve been the busy little beaver….no pun intended really…..while he’s been away. I think in the whole 15 months I’ve probably spent a weeks worth of time without kids of some sort. If the girls are gone I have the boys, if the boys are gone I have the girls. Ask any neighbor where I’ve been every night and if there’s been any strange cars out front. Not to mention it’s just plain insulting to say that I drag guys through the house on a regular basis when the kids are here. Not that I would if the kids weren’t, but it’s worse to say I would with the kids here. I don’t think I’d like to see into his thoughts.

I'm going to Jamaica

I don’t know when but I decided I’m going. I told Joe and he said ok, so it’s on. That’s settled. The ****** THREE DAY WEDDING BONANZA****** is over, it was all very nice actually. Of course I didn’t have to do anything, didn’t even have to watch the kids, lol, they had a kid house that was basically like a living room for the kids. They even had a piñata….whoa…..when we got to the wedding place, early of course for pics, I told the boys to just hang on and wait for the piñata having no idea there actually was a piñata….score. So anyway, nice short ceremony complete with cool music, none of the sappy stuff, Elvis and Sinatra type stuff. No Barbie prom dresses. My sister, who always swore she would never be a bridesmaid, got roped into being her best friends’ years ago and had to wear the ultimate in bad bridesmaid dresses, especially on someone like her. Strapless bubblegum pink, high in the front low in the back…..I still crack up thinking about it. Let’s see food…..it was Italian, 2 salads, polenta, a white bean thing, broccolini, some kind of pork rib thing and stuffed chicken parts, and bread. Oh, and wine. The kid house had its own buffet with mac n cheese, chicken tenders, fruit/veggies, and about a gazillion kinds of cookies. What else can I bore you with? Oh yeah, cake. Hazelnut/huckleberry and really good, and the Kransekage which is the Danish thing but nobody made it this time, my sister brought it down from a bakery in Seattle. The ones my grandparents have made are better. That was all at the Shogren House up in Portland, next morning was the brunch thing at the Northrup Inn also in Portland. It was supposed to be rooftop but ended up being squished in another room because of weather. But it was nice and fit in on our return to Fort Lewis. So Dan and Ali are married and all is right in the world.

We spent another 4 days up with Joe and just came back yesterday because I have to drive Anna down to a girl scout camp in a few days. I haven’t done this much driving in a long time. She’ll be in Florence for 3 days, way down south, and someone else is driving her back so me and the boys are going back to Ft. Lewis for the Forth of July and spend a few days again. Last time we were up there Joe went on an MWR trip and brought us along to this place called Northwest Trek which is a zoo of northwest animals. It was really neat, basically just the woods sectioned off but left natural and you could see all the animals wandering around rather than laying there and looking at you like “what do you want”. There was a tram thing that took you out and we saw about everything possible I think. It was a good trip. At the end Joe deserted us in the gift shop as he is prone to do so, as per my new life rules, I bought something. I got the boys each a sweat shirt, which they needed, for $36 and Joe didn’t say a word about it. Muahahaha. I think he would make a good hubby if he were loaded, then I could do whatever I wanted as long as it didn’t involve him. I could do that. Problem is he isn’t loaded. I kept saying I’d like to go to IKEA since we never get up there normally and he was responseless, so on Wednesday I just looked it up online and got everyone ready to go and lo and behold who gets up and comes along? Joe. Knock my socks off with a feather. I think I can do bossy bitch for awhile. Maybe he’d like a dominatrix? Whatever works I guess. I’ve also taken to swiping pocket change lol….ooohhhhh look ……quarters…..

Joe’s put in for his 2 weeks of leave so I’m looking into the Disney thing. I would so rather hit Jamaica. Soon, soon. But anyway, Disney hell should be a go soon. Throw the kids in the car and see what happens, I like the well planned vacation. Crap these dogs stink! And they always have to sit underneath me. I guess I’m done, don’t quite know what I wrote but it’s taken awhile. Buhbye.

I seem to be busy?

Hey, it’s been awhile since I’ve managed to be online for any length of time at all lately and Rachel seems to be mad at me for desertion. Please, please don’t hate me because I’m busy…or was it beautiful? Those were the dumbest commercials. But anyway, we went and got Joe a week ago Thursday up at Fort Lewis and he had the weekend free but had to go back up for 3 days so we all went along. I’m just going to call this the summer of the free hotel room. Now we’re back home for a four day leave of which my brothers ******THREE DAY WEDDING BONANZA****** consumes most of. Imagine the title there in an echoey, circus announcer voice because that’s how I hear it in my head every time I think it. It’s much more entertaining than “my brothers getting hitched”. After the last of the marital events Joe has to get back up to Fort Lewis again and I guess we’ll find out what his real schedule is going to be sort of. Gotta love the total chaos of the military. PUT WOMEN IN CHARGE!!!!!!!

Let’s see, the ******THREE DAY WEDDING BONANZA****** starts at 11 am today with a Bridal Luncheon up in Portland to which my mom, myself and the girls are going to, couldn’t finagle invites for the out of town aunt and lifelong family friend lmao. I actually have a complete outfit to wear……including shoes…..I NEVER have that. I just went and bought what I needed. It really did help that I was commanded to “spend every f&%$ing dime”. I took it to heart lol and the commander has realized his mistake…muahahahaha. Actually the outfit wasn’t much, it was the little beaded necklace from the cute French store. Anyway, next on the list of events of the ******THREE DAY WEDDING BONANZA****** is the rehearsal dinner for 78 (lmao again), don’t have to go to the rehearsal…..whew, at 6 pm back in Salem in my parents backyard. And it’s not buffet stand around……leave it to my mom to find the complex way. She really does a good job though…kind of a Martha without the business sense. Next day, actual nuptials, again…..up in Portland. They’ve got the place like all day so I guess we’ll nuptial til late in the night. None of this get in 2 hour wedding stuff lol. That always puzzled me how people will spend so much then have a 2 hour party…oh duh…..I know why…..no booze at so many. What exactly does a roomful of sober strangers do for more than 2 hours? Definitely not a Conga line. Ok……so now the damage is done and I have another sister-in-law, we go back to Salem. Enter Sunday…..the last of the ******THREE DAY WEDDING BONANZA****** events……the after ceremony brunch, you guessed it….back in Portland. I’m actually looking forward to the whole thing because I didn’t do squat, my kids are all big enough to take care of themselves and behave and I have clothes. And so do the kids. That is so nice to have just gone and bought what everyone needed and not be piecing together crap lol.

I’ve got the bridal luncheon outfit, denim skirt, brown tank, and orangey sleevless sweater thing with the cute little beaded necklace. Which really is just so cute…maybe I’ll post a pic? For the wedding I have black Capri/skirt/guachos with a black and white shirt and again SHOES!!!!!! Black sandals with about a 2 inch heel, lmao. Sorry Joe, but I’ve decided I can’t wear ugly/uncomfortable shoes all my life, I’ll just keep a bit of distance so I don’t tower too badly. The brunch though I’m just wearing my denim capris and hot mama shirt. I also got the lucky couple a gift lol, went to the registry and said I have this much….give me dishes, so I spent $100 and got 4(or 6?) dessert plates, 2 cups and 2 saucers. Stress dishes.

Right after the brunch we’re heading back to Washington with Joe and will spend some more days until we know what’s going on. Tuesday there’s a family deal on base so I’ll take the kids to that, other than that my sister lives in Seattle so maybe spend a few there, hit the zoo up there, nothing like seeing strange tigers and monkeys you know. And really, I’m all for hanging out in a hotel room with cable and a pool and no housework. Even if Joe gets sick of us hanging around that’s just too bad because again…..it’s the summer of the free hotel room and I intend to take advantage.

I’d better get going I guess, it’s 7:30 and I got 2 girls to get up…..I’ll just send in the dogs heehee.

of course....jury duty

Joe called again yesterday and now they are in Washington. He’s going to let me know what’s up with any leave or a good time to come up and see him information. So yeah….of course I have to go to jury duty this time. Dang criminals. I guess I’ll go, not get chosen then be done and not have to worry about it. Not that I’m all that worried.

Yesterday was the girls last day of school and the boys and I went over for Anna’s “graduation” and the school picnic. Hard to believe Anna’s going to be in middle school already, but then the boys are going to be in kindergarten…..woohoo. My kitchen smells like garlic, not a bad thing mind you, just an observation. So we went and saw all the 5th graders get a certificate and ate lunch on the playground. Social butterfly Katie, she is going to make such a stereotypical teen girl I think, found a friend and wrangled and invite to go over after school which meant that she stayed after the picnic (it was either go home after lunch or stay til school got out) with her friends and I’m sure delighted the teacher with their presence. I like the end of school, now we can clear out all the school paraphenelia, pack it away, not have to remember things, and don’t have to get lunches made. Ahhhh…..summer. Now I might think differently once the boys also go to school all day lol. But for now I don’t mind them all being home.

After the school festivities I took the boys (Anna had a swimming party) to DMV. I had to pee badly but I figured rather than use the mini bathrooms I’d just go at DMV. DMV bathrooms were locked and due to vandalism (yeah….dang jury duty causers at work) and they didn’t give out the key. Yeah me and my boys are going to vandalize the bathrooms. But anyway, I figure I can wait, so we do for 45 min. I get called and go up and she says “oh we can’t do renewals, our system is down” so I say “don’t you think maybe all the people waiting with renewals would like to know that?” because I sure as heck would have gone home and went potty if I’d known. So I took the boys went home, went potty, and went back and took another number. Eventually they got the system back up and I got renewed, but how DMV to not tell people they’re waiting for nothing. They could easily have hollered out….No Renewals for a bit, go get on with your life, come back later. But no.

Let’s see……took the glass recycle in, paid the garbage bill, dropped stuff off at Goodwill, everytime I drop stuff off the boys start bewailing the chicken I donated months ago. I told them to pick it up and put it away and they wouldn’t so I donated it. It was just a crappy stuffed chicken but now they think I’m always donating their toys yet they still don’t want to pick them up. Well, 6:30….guess I better go get ready to go….

Another day another dollar

I don't know how that saying works if you don't have a job. Maybe another day another age spot? Another day a few less hairs? Regardless I guess another day always means another something. I wrote a poem yesterday, it just hit me out of the blue and I'm surprised by the quality for it having been so easy. Here goes…It's true what they say….It all goes to pot….You were what you were….But hey, now you're not. Ok, it sucks but I like it. Maybe I'll start writing birthday cards or something. Ever noticed how many card there are out there…WTH. I couldn't handle the card finding process so I bought one of those big old boxes with an assortment of like 42 cards in it at Walmart for $7.42. If one of those occasions pops up where you just have to have a card I should be covered. Just don't be surprised if I show up at your wedding with a sharpied over and re-worded condolence card someday. Which would be suitable on more than one level lmao. My brother is destroying….I mean getting married in a week or so, I have to find a dress or something.
I'm aiming for capris. I told my mom I tried an outfit on at Pennys the other day and it was capris and a top, it was nice, looked like caca on me but that's not the outfits fault. She said "I think you need to wear a dress" and I said "I'm wearing something I like" and she said "oh". Whew, that was easy. So now I have to find something I like. Dammit. I think weddings should be cyber events. Sign in watch and send comments. Ok..actually I'm looking forward to this one, first one in a long time with no little children and it's all catered and taken care of so it's just eat drink and be merry.
Rachel and Bob took me to see the Pirate movie, end of the world or over the edge or landsend or whatever it was called, it was pretty good, went long on the action parts as movies usually do…I used to hate James Bond movies because of the never ending chases and stuff. Argh….got the idea move on. On the other hand anything with Johnny Depp has got to be good because he just rocks my flipflops. Only problem is he's Gemini and according to AOL that means he has astrological ADHD, which I find fookin' hilarious because my hubby has it too and it's oh so true.
I'm sure I did something else yesterday, I must have. Did some laundry, took the trash cans out to the street. Todays big plans include getting my nails done. That is so embarrassing to say….getting my nails done. Hmmm. Oh well. I did it the once just because and now am addicted to the power nails that need no care and never break. So I do it for utilitarian reasons. Only thing you can't do is get things out of your teeth. I guess I'll get off this thing and attempt a real live life. Out there in the world.

One reason it's a good thing to not have anyone to kiss

.........when you get woken up at midnight and can't go back to sleep it's ok to get up and snack on marinated garlic. I'm sure there are other reasons, but right now that's the one that strikes me as "WOW".
So, here I am, after refraining with difficulty from hitting the blog page all day, blogging. I sure have missed it lol. The boys and I went downtown for the wednesday market thing and did our wander. Got some blackberries to snack on with the peas instead of strawberries this time, radishes, taters, carrots and bought myself a bouquet of sweet peas. I'm thinking after all this time of lusting after the thought of the boys going to school next year I just may actually miss my buddies a bit. Nah. Maybe. Let's see, went and bought a few pencils and risked life and limb getting around the safety tape set up blocking the sidewalk off. You know....personally I think I'd rather risk whatever they're protecting us from than drag two 5 year olds while kicking a balloon out into traffic and back. Yeah I know, backtrack and uses the cross walk....didn't want to. We went back to Ma Valise and had the lady try to figure out what CD was playing last wednesday lol. She was very nice. I ended up getting one but didn't figure out which one I actually was looking for. Gives me a reason to try again :D. Went over to the Little Cannoli, didn't get a cannoli and I could use a little cannoli. If you cannoli what I mean.....heeheehee. Geesh, I am tired. Oh....I told my Mom about the tattoo, I figured it would be better than the "you never tell me anything" if she ever catches a glimpse of my tuckus. Which she shouldn't but you never know lol. Anyway...future catastrophe averted. I love my tuckus turtles.ay.....g'night.....