Someone sent me a link to Tetris.......

....and that just....... well no it didn't slow me down.  I actually got more done today than many a day.  Thank you Tetris link sender, thank you.  So, I'm wondering......how the heck did it get to be 18 minutes til kids come home?  and now that the cooking chicken schmutz is smelling so good can I call off the spareribs I planned on for dinner?   I'm sure I'm wondering something else too.  Not sure what.  Maybe I'll make some hot chocolate and heat the boys up when they get home then steer them back out right away to deliver Scouting for Food bags and christmas tree flyers just to get it over with and be done.  Maybe.  or have everyone haul wood up to the patio again.....I think the fire would burn hotter with dry wood lol.  So I figured out the Christmas gift that will knock the girls socks off and it costs a grand total of.....nothing.  Yay....nothing costing gifts.....if I want to knock them on their hineys I can also do so for just a itty bitty bit more than nothing.  Girls if you read this I don't know what I'm talking about.  Girls friends if you read this please don't tell the girls.....thank you.  So that was exciting.   Um.........life keeps a lingering, oh another yay....big girl just came home and like the good smelling chicken schmutz so add baby carrots and noodles and snack is complete.....and it wipes out the need for the warming hot chocolate for the boys!  Yeah, I have nothing to say.  My Zappos blog got approved teehee.....I have nothing to say.  Well, I do but I don't.....kinda weird.

Spider Monkeys

First off.....spider monkeys are just cool......and saying it is just cool...."spiii-da monnnnnkey"....and the whole concept of something/someone coming at you like a spider monkey is funny.  So that being said, as I was once again observing Surely going all spider monkey on the dogs again it struck me how some people are just like spider monkeys going all ape sh*+ on you.  You're just wandering around minding your own business, say like a pathetic zombie looking schnauzer, when out of the blue.....or off the top of the table.....this spastic bundle of insane lands on you......who the why the wha the was that?  So anyway....deep sunday morning thoughts that have left me wondering about the need for the spider monkey smackdown. 

The girls are off at their dad's this weekend and the boys are here with me very impatiently waiting for the computer.....soon soon.  You know what I discovered?  A bad bad thing......there is as much fiddling around to do on a blog page as there is on a Facebook page.  Almost.  Will not be sucked in....resist.......yeah, that ain't happening.  Life is tooling along, waiting waiting waiting for employment......"oh I still need to hear from your references". "have they been called?", "oh not yet".  OK....'cause I have an endless time to wait.  Not. So, yeah getting to well, I guess I go look elsewhere and either like it and stay or quit as soon as my references get called.  icky blah.  That's what I think of that.  I've even gone to the "hey....you're in" meeting already.   But anyway.....until then I'll settle for writing stuff and throwing in links....... Vista Print .....hee hee.  I was so not going to do that this time......but hey they seem to have a plethora of affordable online and print solutions.  Like lots, everything from free business cards, to calendars to hoodies....if you want a personalized hoodie. 

Cat just spider monkied the dogs...monkey-ed?  Went all spider monkey.  That works and since the boys are getting all insistent and hungry I guess I better get on my way and do something......so remember, for all your online and print needs https://click.discountclick.com/vistaprint/click.php?tid=532358 will take care of you nicely....I'm sure.  Ok....I've never used their services but they have a nice site. 

Zappos and Doc Martens....I knew a Dr. Martin once.......

.....but that's not this Doc Marten ......so I'm back and after a bit O "research" am now a new Doc Marten's/Zappos fan. Yeah.....I LOVE ZAPPOS!   After tooling around in the Doc Martens pages of the Zappos site for a bit I feel a smidge educated.....did you know that Doc Marten's are not just a brand but a way of thinking? Uh huh, they are.....they allow you to show off your funky grungy bestness and apparently they go great with body art, spiky hair and grunge shorts......I know......cool. If you're like all serious and stuff and not into the Kurt Cobain thing....yeah, I don't know what I'm talking about.....but if you're all serious on the outside but have a bit of freak down in there somewhere I think you could still get away with some Docs.....I don't think they'd chase you down or anything. The classic 1460 style....at first I though "no...they didn't have Doc Martens in 1460" then I realized it was a style number....but the classic 1460 style was used by factory workers, union workers and postmen.....rebels of our past, wait no....but regardless the 1460 now symbolizes individual originality and a bold unique personal style. Me myself? I would like a pair of the Jenny Tall pull-on boots just so I can say my boots and I share the same name, not for any other reason because they aren't my favorite style. I really liked the Bellissa and the standby 1460 in the muted red going purely on looks......so if I ever wander down the road towards a Doc purchase I will have some tough decisions to make.  

The site http://www.zappos.com/doc-martens has some nifty little things you can sign up for such as announcements of new styles coming out for the real hardcore Doc Marten groupies, or the weekly shameless plug which I can only assume is a voluntary cry for advertisements to be delivered to your in box. I do that sometimes....that's why I get so many pairs of free underwear.....but that's another story. Zappos also has free shipping, free returns and a whopping 365 day return policy. I always thought there was something wrong with buying something through the mail and having to pay to return it, but maybe that's just me.....it has kept me out of the mail delivery method or buying stuff though.

Let's see....what else have I discovered about Zappos/Doc Martens ? Um.....if you want to work in Las Vegas that's where they are, in addition to aomewhere else but I didn't pay attention to that, and the CEO appears to have a tattoo of Zappos on his head. It could just be a rub on one though. The company has a list of family core values for it's employees and I guess eveyone to live and work by, for example....#8 is "do more with less"....yeah, there's a bunch more but that's the only one I remember and......um......oh yeah! The finance department resembles a kindergarten class minus the graham crackers and lukewarm, curdily milk.....they randomly choose a person and have a random act of kindness parade and like take their pictures in from of a sign and stuff and generally make them feel like da bomb for no known reason. Uh huh. Soooooo, if you want to work for Zappos you can get to the employment link through here...sorta like a magic portal....  awesome Zappos jobs .

Insurance assurance

So.......it's been awhile since I got one of these, actually I got one a few months ago but wasn't really into taking advantage of it. Last week I open my email and lo and behold TWO offers...so woohoo......I'd call that employed!!! Yeah, aim low I know. For those of you who have absolutely no idea what I'm talking about that's ok just go with it. Anyway, the first one was a website about affordable health care, which is quite timely actually since I am hopefully soon to be unceremoniously dumped from the rolls, roles? which is it? the list of people making up the insured population. Plop......gone. It's exciting lol. Exciting as it may be though in all responsible thought I really can't be toodling along with no insurance whatsoever.......the boys will be insured through their dad but I released the girls dad from that so they will be uninsured as will I. I'm not to worried about the girls since the Healthy Kids program has been plastered everywhere not to mention when in a certain financial situation "they" apparently are not going to allow you to be without insurance.....but that's another story. Wait a minute lol......why am I.....NM.

Not sure if that all was coherent or not but anyway......I went and checked http://www.america-healthinsurance.com/ out and actually thought it a good overview of health insurance options, kind of a health insurance for idiots type of thing and it kind of left me feeling supported in my unfounded ideas about health insurance.......that it's out there and if you don't demand the best of the best of everything then you can get yourself affordably insured to protect against the worst case scenario type stuff. I mean that's what matters anyway, at the moment I have really good insurance and still have to pay to go where I want anyway so the whole major medical thing sounds good to me.  Best health insurance quotes.

So, http://www.america-healthinsurance.com/ gives you an idea of what HMO, PPO and major medical are and what the differences in coverages and costs are. It, darn cat........stay off the keyboard!!!!!!! Anybody know how to un-italicize a keyboard? Anyway, it also goes into long term care insurance and other reasons you may need to be looking into providing your own insurance rather than depend upon other sources, such as in the case of adult students, domestic partners, transitional times like between employment ect. So yeah, anyone who sorta has looked into health insuring themselves may want to give the site a looksee.....or not. That would be totally up to them.

So yeah......um. Things are going well, kids are doing well, job I wanted is just around the corner, got a new kitty and have good friends......just need things to move along on the divorce front. I really don't need any unwanted input.....really, I don't. Leave me alone, let go of my ankles and let me go, nice to change your mind, mind changing is a good thing.......but sometimes it's just too darn late. Well, kids are home so I'll refrain from how I also don't need psycho scary phone calls either......just in case anyone were so inclined. Later.

Well, that was a pretty nice day. Started out having to go to that class for which I was given the old brochure so I went to the closed down building....nobody was there.....so since it was supposed to be at the YWCA I figure who better to ask where the heck they are than the YMCA....so I trek through town with all it's blocked off streets for Hoopla or something, trek over to the YMCA and say "do you know where the YWCA is?". Turns out it's over on Market and Broadway.....I probably knew that. So anyway, for all my wasted time I was only 10 minutes late. Anyway, came home from that, picked up the kids from Aunt Esther's house and were sitting around eating lunch when my Mom stopped by and we decided to go to the beach, run around chaotically for about an hour and get on our way....ok didn't totally run around chaotically for an hour....sat and had a cup of coffee first then....yeah yeah. Anyway, headed out to Pacific City, got there and it was wi-indy. Feel like I've been sandblasted. We let ourselves be buffeted by the wind for about 3 hours waiting for the wind to settle down but gave up and decided to find food, we drove down the one street and found the local grocery store, kept going and found ourselves heading to Netarts and had a wonderful discussion about Netarts and netards. Amazing what the kids in the very back hear and how they comprehend it. Decided to turn around because we really didn't want to find out what was in Netarts, went back went down the other street and found the tourist grocery store.....decided, spurred on by me, to go to the locals market and found the only warm food offered....a chicken....and a roll of paper towel. Went to check out and I don't think the cashier guy will forget us soon.....first my Mom puts the stuff down where she's supposed to, then moves over to where she's supposed to be and tells the guy we have stuff on the other side, I tell her he probably knows the routine and we discuss that a bit. then I ask him if he knows of a non-windy place to eat and he points across the way and says "the Oar House", and I say but we have a chicken.....and paper towels, and he say "hmmmmm" and the Jake who's dancing around being Jake looks up and says "the whore house?". Good times, good times. Ahhhh....., so anyway we head back to the other street again to get some fries from Fat Freddies and ask for $12 worth and get a bag of fries, the we need to find someplace to eat our chicken and fries and I say that I saw some cute restrooms back on the other street and since they were so cute they probably had picnic table near them....so we head back to the other street again......for a town with 2 main streets we hit them a lot today....and there they are..... cute restrooms, and they do have picnic tables, so we break out the paper towels, carve the chicken with this little one inch blade knife my Mom has in her purse, dump the fries in the chicken lid and enjoy. Right across the street from the Oar House.

I went through the greenhouse and dumped all the dead plants, the rest are soon to be dead but I'll wait I guess. That was harder than I thought it was going to be, it's probably similar to going through some who's died stuff but a little different since I'm out there still thinking I really should be mad, I will be. I guess I'll have to be. I should be. The stupid plants were supposed to be a good thing, oh good....plants, they have to be a good thing. How can plants cause anything but good? Well, I guess I'm down to a couple hundred.....I'm not totally heartless, I'm sort of taking care of the ones in the house....I'm going to go count them lol.....the 88 in the house. Soon to be minus 2 dead cacti. "They" give you 90 days to get yourself up and running, at first I was No, I need to be up and running now but I'm glad for the 90 days. Funny how even though you live it and expect it at any moment you really do just keep hoping until I guess one day the straw that breaks the camels back shows up in the form of cops in your kitchen and you just give up. I went to bed with Isaac last night because he was the only one here and he remembered last time and how one night he was the only one here then too and I let him sleep in my bed and then looked at me all wide eyed so I slept with the gangly skinny boy who takes up an amazing amount of space.....anyway I was awake for hours but it wasn't a bad can't sleep where you worry and think and generally drive yourself crazy, it was pretty good. Kind of a clearing up of mental trash, looking at it and tossing it. I guess when you give up things that used to hurt don't have to anymore, you get to get rid of them.....and crazy things can be laughed at for being that....crazy. Yes, I was 38...I'm not anymore....but no, no I'm not going through menopause. When you're only 38 and going through menopause is the best that some one can come up with to attack with what can you do but go "huh? Me? Really? Why didn't I know that?". I guess you could throw back "well you've got a bald spot" but why? Oh my....Mel was helpful, amazingly helpful. Hearing it from somewhere else was good, thank you girlfriend. All I have is a couple e-mails....I had an about 1 inch stack of crap that I shredded, kind of wish I hadn't but not really sorry that I did. What good would it do? I know what I need to know, besides the one is enough I think I'll hold onto that. Well the greenhouse is started, I'll clean it up, wait for the rest to die off or get picked up and I guess getting all this stuff done is all just steps towards being done.

Oh my.....life is good and weird at the same time. Life is usually good and the weird part has become all documented by being sent via email....I don't understand creating chaos and don't really know how to play games but I guess I'd better learn. Enough about that, took the kids to OMSI today and they had fun, went to see the reptile guy at the library yesterday and they had fun at that, took them to the library the day before and signed them all up for the summer reading program and they liked that, taking them to McMinnville tomorrow and they are looking forward to that. They all seem to be doing ok but it can't be easy for them, especially the boys, but I guess it shows how they follow whatever lead they are given. I keep telling them everything will work out in the end and people do what they do for reasons of their own, it has nothing to do with them and sometimes you just have to let people be. Anyone who knows me knows my view on if you just keep doing what you know is right it will all work out, yes I still believe it lol....some things just take a little longer. I remember when I was pregnant with the boys I finally just came to the realization that in five years it wouldn't matter, everything would be fine. Same thing with this, just hopefully sooner than five years. I'm older this time.

I got a borderline burn I think but I won't get burned on my automobile insurance no siree

What does fricasee mean? I know I'm on a computer and could check it out myself but I don't want to, but I can't really say I feel like I've been fricaseed if I don't know what it means either. Regardless I've got that level of sun exposure going on where you don't really notice it til you reach over to scratch something and feel the tinge of painful skin being scratched. So not bad but just that feeling of I've been in the sun all day, what a beautiful day it was. The kids and I all went to the 4-H meeting and they just worked with the pigs.....I have never in my life seen such a mud encrusted pig as I saw today....did you know that if you let pigs free in your yard they will systematically tear a huge hole into the grass? They will....there ought to be grass insurance for pig owners, at least pig owners who let their pigs roam in their yard. I guess that's what truffle hunting pigs do but still...a nice insurance against such events could be handy....then there could be rate comparison sites such as this one http://www.automobileinsurance.me/go/click.php?tid=437270 ....but that one is for cars. It would be something more along the line of www.pigsurance.com which isn't a real link so don't try going there...well, maybe it is? I haven't tried going there so maybe it is real. If you try and find something let me know. Anyway, watched kids manuever pigs around the yard with sticks for awhile, let the owner know they were tearing up his yard....nobody else said anything, they just stood there watching til I went and said "um....do you want the pigs tearing a huge hole in your yard?" He didn't and the pigs got put away. Where was I? Just a sec......grass insurance, ok nowhere lol.....let's see after that we were driving through Stayton so I decided to call Joe's parents and see if they wanted to see the boys for a few minutes before their baseball game and they did so we stopped in there and Isaac had a ball with a whoopee cushion and the boys got to see Joe and Grandma and Grandpa for awhile, took off from there to the game where the boys team kicked some little league behind, something like 13-1. Which is unusual, such a huge point spread. Joe came and watched the game so it was cool the game he saw was a good one for the boys, then he came over and spent some time with the boys and talked for a bit....and now I am here, listening to my Count Basie CD, having a beer and blogging about lord knows what.

If I ever really considered switching my auto insurance I think I would try such a site as http://www.automobileinsurance.me/go/click.php?tid=437270 to compare a bunch of companies rates.....why not? It could be interesting and if nothing else the home page offers a good rundown of the types of insurance that are offered......there are more than the standard ones. Even though you apparently can be covered against anything possible and beyond I kind of like my devil may care attitude towards auto insurance though. Which is strange since I usually like to have all bases covered......maybe it's my guilty pleasure to take my chances with auto insurance....not that I'm driving around uninsured by any means, I have what I need.....but no Gap insurance or flood insurance. I would take a flood destroying my car as a sign from the powers that be that I should get and pay for another car. On http://www.automobileinsurance.me/go/click.php?tid=437270 there is a picture of an orange car with something that looks like a bird of fire on it's hood......and the hubcaps kinda look like daisies and it has one of those gaping maw front ends that looks like it's smiling or evil or something....kind of happy looking in strange cartoon car sort of way....check it out http://www.automobileinsurance.me/go/click.php?tid=437270 . You may regret it but maybe you won't.

I was thinking of watching a movie tonight but it's getting too late and I kind of like the music. The girls are at Katie's friends house, the one who spent the night here last night, Katie is spending the night and Anna is babysitting and spending the night......works pretty well because the parents can stay out as long as they like because their babysitter is sleeping over and Anna gets paid. Win-win. Oh.....if anyone is interested in a 1 in 250 chance of winning half a pig let me know, I have 25 tickets to sell, well the girls are selling them but I help if I can....to a degree because what we don't sell I'll pass off onto their dad because after all he's the pig guy. I really am not into the livestock though two years ago I managed to keep a rampaging pig in line at the photo place with only a board and my incredible determination not to lose the pig. A proud moment in my life. I guess I'd better go set up a Craiglist account.....I have a dining room table to sell (not mine)......goodness gracious.

Car repairs in Chicago and Saturday

Good morning, life is trucking along and after dragging myself around this morning in anticipation of a 10:00 4-H meeting the child tells me it's at 11:00. Normally I don't drag around in the mornings but I think I am getting too blasted old for sleepovers.....new rule, kids must be silent when Mommy needs to go to bed....or better yet, kids must be sleeping...or pretending really well. So today we have the 4-H meeting, last baseball game and the girls are going out to get whatever they need to do Anna's hair for the big dance thing. Not by themselves, they are going with their big sister.....yeah. Still need coffee. So anyway, well....I was going somewhere but I'm teaching Jake to fry eggs and lost my train of thought.......I think it was about my new online venture which I'm sure anyone reading will pick up on shortly : ). That's a smiley face with a blemish on it's chin. So anyway.......

If I ever go to Chicago again and have my car with me and heaven forbid my car broke down or experienced some other mysterious mechanical difficulty do you know what I would do? Well, I would look for a mechanic......but what do I know about mechanics? Nothing. I go in to a car type of place all wide eyed and "ok, I don't know anything....please fix my car". Then leave having no idea what they may or may not have done......that's why my check engine light has been on for about four years lol.....it went on when Joe was in Afghanistan. I really should check that out at a site such as this http://repairpal.com/check-engine-light, maybe someday I will but until then the van keeps on running....I should check I guess so I don't have the thing spontaneously combust and some mechanic say "Oh looks like your check engine light has been on for years why didn't you bring it in to get checked?" Anyway, back to my question about breaking down in Chicago. If that ever happens, and it may, then I would check out this site http://repairpal.com/chicago-auto-repair. It claims to be full of the top rated repair shops and mechanics in the area complete with a star rating system and customer comments. Sounds good if you ever breakdown in Chicago and need a Chicago auto repair shop.....I went to Chicago for my cousin's wedding last year, it was fun....we had pizza and I won a Cubs Monopoly game.

The site http://repairpal.com/chicago-auto-repair also has information about used cars if you are so inclined to purchase a used car anytime soon, such as this fine Toyota Camry http://repairpal.com/toyota-camry-2002 kind of thinking to stay away from the Toyotas at the moment but maybe if you go back to the older ones you're ok? Like pre-death accelerators? But you don't have to just check out the Camry....they let you search other cars too. Like say if you were interested in a Mitsubishi Eclipse or something......I had one of those once. If I ever write my memoirs I'm going to entitle it "I had an orange sports car for a month". Maybe not the whole book but at least a chapter. It was a fun car and oh so pretty but really much more pratical for a single person than one with 4 kids.....they don't all fit.

So really, regardless of if you are in Chicago or not the site http://repairpal.com/ provides some good auto repair type info and if you just feel like reading about problems other people have had with theirs cars because you're just like really super bored on a friday night....check it out.

Whew....that was fun and at the same time I taught Jake to make a delightful fried egg, sausage, and muffin breakfast for all......hmmmm....my birthday is coming up. No reason they can't make me breakfast now. Know what's kind of funny in a coincidental way? Ten years ago when I was turning 29 I was in almost the exact same marital situation as I am now at turning 39. hmmmm......this will not become a trend, kind of a change of decade ritual......no, not gonna happen. Now I really need to head out so ta-ta.

Hallo......I'm waiting around....again. I'm making a friend go make copies with me. For some reason making copies freaks me out......can't they just use the originals? Yeah yeah.....fine, accept it. Life involves copies. I think it's because there's like this stack of stuff and then there are two stacks. Strangely enough having twins didn't freak me out at all, of course they aren't identical. If I had twins now I'd freak out let me tell you. Made a call I've been putting off and was told all I have to do is bring my degree in, have them make a copy and I'll get a letter stating I'm "highly qualified" for my most desired career path....okay truth to tell isn't really aiming all that high right now but it's a start. It's kind of exciting because I don't ever want to be told I'm with someone for their money ever again.....especially since I've never been with anyone with money. But if I ever do get myself in this position again let me tell you he's going to have money because when he says I'm only there for the money it darn tootin gonna be true. I do kind of enjoy #1 telling me he was my tool because then I got the pleasure of thinking in my head...."if I'd a been looking for a tool I would have chosen a sharper one". That was kind of fun....still is actually. Oooops......gotta go....brb.

Back, yeah back. I'm tired.

I'm sort of stuck. All I want to say is what a total and absolute shit someone is but that wouldn't be appropriate....it's not a surprise, just still really hard to accept even after all these years. This whole thing started because it just had to be proven that I couldn't count on someone for anything but how in the world can someone not pull their head out long enough to possibly notice what they are doing to their kids? They are old enough to notice shittiness, and I don't have to say a word. That being said, my Grandma died this morning. She was supposed to go home today or tomorrow and everything was good.

Good day, life is good, blah blah blah....life is good. Of course I'm flipping back and forth numerous times a day......it's not really anything new though, just a bit different this time. So I've made my mental list of things to look for and figured I'd stop in at garage sales as I see them.....what are the chances of hitting one that has the sizes of all your kids? I did, mostly a jeans bonanza but that's ok.....my goal was shorts for the girls, spandex stuff for Anna and shoes for Katie. Instead I got Anna 5 pairs of jeans and 2 bras, because she has boobs....ok, I'll stop saying that from here on out, Katie a pair of jeans and 2 shorts and 6 pairs of jeans for the boys and 3 random camisoles for whoever....for $12. Woohoo......as nice as it was to have things going well and just be able to go get what you needed as you needed it it is kind of fun to have to put a little effort in. Besides life is cheap, well, life is valuable.....living can be cheap. Well, I guess that is if your kids don't get into things like cheerleading lol.....hmmmm.....Anyway, I have another appointment today, haven't heard from and don't know what's up with his end of things. I guess I'll find out eventually, at sometime in the past I volunteered for Family Fun night so tonight I'll be doing the sucker pull and Bingo....I hope it's ok for the boys to run free because my girl children will be busy building a float tonight, apparently they are going to be in a parade tomorrow.....who knew? It's in Silverton and the boys have baseball right in the middle of the day so I probably won't make it....ohhh....speaking of I'd better get their uniforms in the wash, they have pics tomorrow too. I just get them all spiffy for the pics and take my own before we get there lol. I think tomorrow will be front yard day, yeah.....get it all spiffed up in the morning then baseball stuff. Anyone reading this drivel, I really do just write it for my own sake and it's kind of fun to read later, better than a picture :). I so need to get the crock pot out and into use, it's like a mini one item buffet ready whenever for whoever. I think I am working up to mad, which is a good thing.....don't quite know what to do with it but I guess I'll figure that out. Yeah, I'll go do that now.

I've got a few minutes so here I am, I spent most of yesterday figuring out what I need to do to get real job ready.....having your last job be 8 years of night custodian doesn't prepare you for much other than more of the same, nothing wrong with the custodial gig but I would like another sort of something for the long term lol. So, yesterday I started making an imatch account at the unemployment office and got into this hellaciously long skills test which I'll have to go back and work on....I wonder if I can access that stuff at home? I'll have to check. I filled out and sent in an application for a shoe store....I like shoes. I guess? Today I'm going to maybe pick a friends brain about the best was to fill out the Edzapp application because my ideal would be to get in anywhere with the schools.....except custodial.....but I'd probably take that if I got the chance. Other than that I have an appointment today to go in and see what I need to do to brush up (create) skills needed for getting what I want. Then just the normal, baseball practice and Katie has a choir rehearsal thing but she pretty much can get herself to and from that....though she really wants me to pick her up. Poor kid just wants to quit choir and I keep trying to get her to stick it out......I might relent considering I don't want her to melt down on me. It just seems kind of lame to dropp something right before it all ties up. I don't like uncertainty.....at least not uncertainty you can't really be working on....I guess that would be uncertainty dependent upon outside influences. Gotta go.

Well, it's Mother's Day and the kids are making me breakfast so I thought I'd come on here for a bit. I opened all the little gifts they made at school, Isaac made me a magnet that says "Go Mom", Jake a tile with a butterfly on it, Katie a book mark with 10 things about my Mom, and Anna made a nice card and bought me a plant. The big plan for the day is to have a nice day, the kids want to make breakfast, work on the back yard because it's a field, then go to the park and have a picnic before walking with some friends.....all in all sounds like a good day. Oh yeah....my A-ha moment.....all these years I've thought losing 30 pounds caused pregnancy. IT DOESN'T!!! You don't know how relieved I am considering this week I've lost like 14 pounds pushing me way below the 30 pound threshold. Anyway, my a-ha was losing 30 pounds generally has meant I'm getting myself together, getting fed up with things, and has generally created some sort of insecurity in some....yeah, makes sense to me. Sort of the same way how everything in the past 18 years that should be a good thing has been turned into unpleasant chaos.....so bottom line....I'm not gonna get pregnant! Anyway, I think breakfast is about done so I'm off. Happy Mother's Day!

I am tired, maybe it's hungry? But I don't feel hungry and if it's tired I can't sleep.....so phbblllltttt. Did some more calling today, then spent most of the day at the hospital with my Grandma, she was actually fully aware of everything today but they had to do something else to her so who knows how she'll be tomorrow, she wanted to see the kids and I was going to bring them to her tonight but I guess she's out of it again. Anyway, Anna had her cheer outfit fitting this afternoon, took her to that with the boys, they had to stay out of the locker room so they had fun running the halls. I had to ask about the flexibility on the paying for everything but by gum, Anna's gonna cheer and go to the eighth grade dance and I will find a retainer for a lawyer if need be. I have some piggy banks, ok a piggy bank. Tonight the girls are off with friends and it's just me and the boys, maybe at some point in the future I'll get a TV in the bedroom and we can all sit in there and watch stuff. Tomorrow, Anna has a cheer thing at Riverfront park, Katie runs in the relays and the boys have a baseball game and we're going to visit my grandma if she's up to it. Maybe I should cry, ironically can't seem to do that either.....actually know what I should do. I should get mad. The boys have found my sewing can lol, Jake just brought me a pin and a piece of thread still connected to the half a room away spool and asked me to tie the string on the needle and Isaac found the huge zipper.....anyway can't really seem to get mad either, wish I could figure it out. Maybe it's just resignation, with sadness and a tinge of fear? Jake took the needle I threaded for him and is sewing eyes on the little sock dolls I made years ago, Isaac is making a quilt. I just hope ....lmao......I was just going to say I hope he doesn't sew it to the tablecloth and he says "hey Mom, look at my achievement.....doh" as he tried to pick it up off of the table. OK, I'm going to go with "I can't do anything tonight.....veg".

Ay yi yi.....what a day. Feeling pretty good right now though, let's see.... I escaped a felony assault charge by the grace of one childs good hearing, I've learned that not being able to sleep , eat or cry seem to go together and I seem to be up against a hairy divorce. All in a day, or two....depends on how you count. I just want the house and the kids, I'll take all the bills, leave any investments and retirement stuff, spousal support ect...it could be so simple. But it won't be. So tomorrow I have a job application to turn in, food stamps to apply for, not for the food stamps but for the speed with which they can process child support orders, get in line at legal aid/look for reasonable lawyers, and check that agency that might help with money to change locks ect. Yes, I'm scared, I could handle just the divorce part but I strongly suspect it's going to be a circus. Why expect more in divorce than you got in marriage? I've done it before I can do it again but I so wish it could be logical. Packing up stuff, seeing what he wants....I'm thinking probably just the TV but who knows.....life without TV is actually pretty cool lol.....been there done that last time lol. I do hope he doesn't want the computer though....facebook keeps me sane. Actually I would rather he take the computer than the desk....but then I have to get all the pics out. Dang. Tomorrow. I want to use people this time though....like a popsicle stick fortress. Just stick them all down in the dirt like popsicle sticks in a circle and sit in the middle....maybe cry, maybe just sit there. I think maybe that means I'm tired of it. Crap....18 years. Teach your little girls a phrase, teach them "hell no"....it'll work wonders if used correctly. Which hopefully I have perfected by now, the use of hell no. I'll find out I guess. Because I am never doing this again. Ever. If I get out of this with the house and the kids I have all I need, I love this house and I love my kids and I have no great need for any more. I don't want to do this again but am glad I know how. How to live well on virtually nothing lol. Last time I made $900 a month and had a mortgage of $878.....I'm actually quite proud of that but that was when I was 29 and fiesty, I don't feel so fiesty anymore. One time I took 80 gallons of outdated cream that was being trashed and made it all into butter lmao......that was a project. but I didn't have to buy butter for ever. 80 gallons is a lot of cream. I've done a lot of things lol, good times good times. I just wish it could be normal. I can handle life, I can't handle crazy. I've told the kids so many times in the last 2 days it'll be ok now they're telling me. God, I hope it's allowed to be ok, just leave it alone and let it be ok. I don't know where such hate comes from, I'm not perfect but there's no reason to hate me......but if you must be warned.....a friend gave me an electrical device that can scare the dogs from a room away. I don't want to do this again. But I can. At least I got Cirque Du Soleil in this time....ironically I bought the cool keychain that no longer has a cool car to go with it. Oh well.......later. Know what's a bummer? I left my Lady Gaga CD in the car....I'll never see that again. Or if I do I'll be surprised. I can do it, just leave me the house and kids. If not house then kids. Please.

Yep.....I'm ba-aack....starting to experience status update guilt again. So here I sit surrounded by crap.......had the brilliant idea of the boys emptying their room out into the dining room and doing a start over in there....great plan if you have time to finish. Eh, oh well......taking off tomorrow so I'll leave the mess with the dogsitter....she won't mind : ). Not a single person I've had to enlist in the getting all of us up to Seattle in a 4 seater car has even insinuated that maybe I have a stupid car lol.....I like it, and no I haven't tried to see how fast it will go.....I'm sure it's weenie and I don't need to know anyway because I have cruise control. Yeah baby. I don't particularly like cruise control but it does work great in school zones and small towns....and safety corridors.....if I can just shake the feeling of not really driving....hmmmmm.?.?. Oh, question....how come when squirrels run out into the street in front of your car they stop, look at you then run back the way they came? Why not just keep going and cross? And speaking of squirrels I bought a Squirrel Nut Zipper CD yesterday, any week I'll get it. Went to Sunnyside today but my lady was busy with someone so she handed me a stack of stuff and a folder and said "here's what you need, here's an example" and rushed off, so I went and found a cozy corner and basically became a human collater...collator....I collated stuff. Which was grand because I like to do mundane stuff.....I would have made a great piece of office equipment....maybe if I'm re-incarnated I could come back as a printer or something? Ooooohhh.....no, if I get re-incarnated I want to come back as Bon Jovi! Or Bon Jovi's essence lol....he's already taken. I like him......never really did back in the day, thought he was kinda funny looking.....probably still is, but anyway I like him. Anyway....saw her buzzing around a few times but couldn't find her when I was done so I just stuck it all on her desk and took off.......why do you care? Oh yeah....you don't, but then I don't care if you don't care....muahahahaha. Let's see, Joe will be back in a few weeks and I will try my darndest to have the boys room back in their room by then.....course he'll probably drop in unexpectedly some time or come home early and not let me know.....then I guess it would be ok. Kind of along the same lines of don't walk into someones house without knocking, you never know what may await you. I took advantage of the break in the rain and hauled another reject piece of furniture out to the road, went to Sunnyside and by the time I came home it was gone....people are so funny. They drive by, stop, back up, look, look around, hop out of their car, pop the trunk.....look around furtively and toss your junk into their trunk and drive off. I wonder if they hear the cheering coming out of the house? Do they really need it or is it just the enticement of "free"? When I was going to WOU my roommate and I dragged a couch home....remember that Sarah? Sarah? Are you out there? Remember hauling that thing across the highway lmao.....it was a three seater but one of the thirds had absolutely nothing holding it up. You could hunker down in there and put your head on the arm and really be quite comfortable. Good times, good times. Oh dang!!! I forgot about the coffee concept and went and got a beer.......darn, now I'll never have a rousing night of night house cleaning. Shoot, there's something special about being all spastic at three in the morning.......why are walkie talkies called walkie talkies but vacuums aren't called pushie suckies? It might be more fun to pushie suckie than vacuum....the word you always have to think about how to spell. I guess you would have to be more careful with the pronunciation though....try saying pushie suckie three times fast. Oh oh oh....I did it!!! I went and got another SD card for my camera! Now whenever I take a stupid picture I don't have to go look for another stupid one to delete! Do you know how many memories pictures of meals have? I go back through and I'm all no, that was really good....hmmm......delete that one of the kid...we see them eveyday anyway....we can just re-enact if we really miss the picture. Speaking of kids and pictures, Anna brought home the Spring scam pics from school the other day and they are actually really good but of course she wants the little plastic tag pics and I would want a real picture and they're $12 a sheet, unles you get the "best deal" which is all 5 sheets, or 4 sheets? for $40....ok, fine....times 4 kids. I have the money it's just wrong....couldn't I go to a photographer of some sort for that....I'll buy this year though because it is a really good picture. And heck....loosen up, be normal. It's funny how I've got them all brainwashed....even if I say we'll get something they all check the prices and decide it's too much lol, and Katie has been sick for a couple days and didn't want soda because sugar is bad for the immune system.....heehee and a lmao. I got her some C Monster Odwalla instead which she thought was totally cool. I've decided I need to show the dogs more affection because it's obvious they think I'm really totally cool for some reason and I guess I should accept my responsibilities as lead dog and bestow something upon them. Why have they chosen me? I hate feeling dog nose on the back of my calf every time I take a step, and quite honestly, me coming back from the mailbox is not cause for such excitement. What to do, what to do? Good thing about boring books is that you can always go to bed early and bore yourself to sleep....though the one I'm reading seems to have potential but at half a page a night it'll take me forever to find out....something about Ginger....and a tree? I'm also reading one about historical motels in all the states lol.....may use it for when I get to Wyoming. Oh crap....goodnight. : )

I am waiting. and waiting and waiting.....for what I'm not sure. Maybe time to go? I totally feel like just throwing crap in the car and taking off.....I don't wanna plan! And I shouldn't have to....isn't that one of our inalienable rights? The right to be unprepared for everything and anything that may happen? Well.....even if it's not I think it should be. I do have a list of can't forgets going.....a new pot for water becasue we went camping last summer and the people we were with took mine and destroyed it.....I just refused to claim it when they were trying to find the owner.....take my pretty blue water pot and do Lord knows what to it will you? Then I just won't claim it and will get another one yes I will. Um....another heater because Joe burned the camping one out in his green house and I like it to keep the inside of the tent dry and since we HAVE to have electricity where we're going I will take advantage, and duct tape to fix the tent. Other than that I'll cupboard shop and make sure all the laundry is done by tomorrow morning....viola....done. Joe's not going.......which really means I should try and get/bring some dry wood....maybe stop and buy some 2x4's lol.....they'll burn. Won't Lowes cut them for me? Hi, I'd like these cut into 18 inch sections please. Went on the Cub Scout Zoo Snooze last night......I slept on the floor better than I thought I would, it really wasn't that bad. Had a good time....saw animals, boys had fun....probably behaved better than Mommy. I am hot and well, hot.....damn fleece robe. I still have furniture to get out of the living room....it's driving me....well, it's not driving me anywhere it's just really gettng old.....oooohhhh......after we get back the seat will be out of the van and I can take it to Goodwill and make a dump run!!!!! I like it when the seat is out of the van....I am so freakin bored! Dang and bye.

Let's see...totally and absolutely restless, not bored, restless. I just may hit a late movie after the kids go to bed. Or maybe Jeff's beer will remove the restless bug lol. Let's see, I thought todays horoscope was kind of putting the pressure on but I managed to live up to it but not intentionally, but I did manage to live a pretty indulgent day : ). I went to Curves then Sunnyside and laminated some more then I went to sushi because once again, why not? After that I went over to Goodwill and hit shoe bonanza, I got a pair of normal black boots, a pair of black elf boots, a pair of pointy black dress shoes and yet another pair of reddish with a dash of purple-ish dress shoes....I love second hand. After that I decided I could get some new socks so I headed to Costco for mens socks.....because everyone knows mens socks rock. Spent an inordinate amount of time hopelessly digging through piles of pants searching for a decent size but I guess the average Costco shopper is a size 4 or 6 because that's abouty all they ever have. Either that or us hefty folk scarf up all the anything above size 8 stuff really fast and there's none left which seems to me would mean ORDER MORE FOR THE FATTIES!!!!!! But I digress.....I did find a pair of capris in a size 10 which I am planning on praying to the skinny gods and burning offerings to something to be able to fit into this summer and a brown down winter jacket because I just got rid of my green one because it was too big and well, I don't want to wear stuff that's too big....oh yeah, I did get the socks too....a twelve pack of Russels sports socks. Then I stopped in at Star Nails because Joe keeps telling me to and got a manicure and my nails are now orangey brown....I still don't like getting that done but it's not as bad as a pedicure. Having someone work on your feet just seems wrong....like um...I can do that it's ok.......I can't imagine how weird a massage would be lol. Anyway, my nails look nice for the next day or so, the elf boots aren't that uncomfortable and Jeff's beer is pretty good. I think it's called Ill Mannered Gnome which goes with the boots. Who knows....maybe I'll become ill-mannered as the night progresses. Then I could blame Jeff. So anyway, all in all a totally indulgent day and now I have little steaks and big shrimp to cook for dinner and I'll get to it. Apparently there is no school tomorrow which means I'll probably have to endure the newest Twilight movie with some kids because I keep telling Katie we'll go and last time we tried it was sold out. How does a movie that's been out forever sell out? So, note to self....show up early. Isaac wants to go roller skating tomorrow too.....hmmmm. I wish Skate Palace would re-open as a skating rink. I think for my fortieth birthday I'll rent the Lebanon rink all for myself and whoever else wants to come : ). Punctuating after an emoticon....weird. When I cleaned off the old desk I found my bag of Hot Chili Pops with chili lime lambada and chili mango mambo flavors....I missed them. By now they're a little sticky but that's ok, they still have their sweet/sour/spicy goodness. Geesh, It's almost 7:30....how'd that happen? Guess I should go cook the little steaks and big shrimp and feed these guys. Toodles.

"Do you like chicken hearts?" There is nothing like watching your child sit oh so nicely at the table when you have guests for dinner and see him turn ever so seriously to one of them and ask "do you like chicken hearts?" apparently the child doesn't because he then proceded to say he didn't think he did because they were the hearts from chickens and that sounded gross. So we had a nice if not a little bit late dinner....due to bad charcoal....wow, cool....my shirt makes musical sounds when strummed.....anyway...nice dinner, nice wedding reception earlier, nice workout at Curves earlier. I keep exceding my goals...I think they better jack up the goals but I guess it'll get there....I guess that makes it an overall nice day.....well except for that 30 min or so in Albany lol....no, not lol, lmao. But we won't talk about that. Speaking of Albany, Carolee and I lost it for a while last night, it was right there then it was gone. How do you lose a whole city at night? It seems the lights would show for a ways, but we lost the whole city. We went and did our roller skating, which I enjoyed.....I'll have to see about Carolee :D. We decided to go to Boon's afterwards because it was still early and had to go get Carolee's car in Albany and took the wrong turn in the exit....no biggie right? It's all Albany......nuh uh....we lost Albany....drove for a while, did you know that the outskirts of Albany has some huge water filled ditches right up to the roads? It does. We did refind Albany buy making a lot of right turns and found the car and headed back to Salem, listened to the rest of the music and ate...cajun tater tots, fries, hummus and a cheeseburger for me and chowder for her. That was a darn good cheeseburger let me tell you. Our night of adventure for the month....but how do you lose a city?

I was so not going to do this today, because I mean really....how stupid lol. Eh....oh well, here I am :D. Today has been a rather cool day, I love the sort of steady grey days that don't change, just drizzle all day, no wind no sun no drama....just get in the house, turn all the lights on and be calm and sluglike.....warm and cozy like a slug. I've had theFrench music thing going with the occasional dip into Italian and painted and did laundry and dishes and did some staring at the ceiling, which is highly underrated by the way, I looked at the living room and did nothing. Do you know how many days of neglect it takes before the children move into the living room? Two....just two and you may as well call it their bedroom. Oh, I did go out and hit Curves....now that I'm in the computer thing it's even cooler. I tried the having a picture of myself on Facebook but that was just weird....besides everyone knows what I look like and it's like yeah...there I am. What does that say? Not much....other pics say more, everyone sees the outside of everybody. Anyway...the me pic got yanked lol......now I'm a bird. I am actually getting excited about tonight lol.....like I'm 12 or something. A friend and I are going rollerskating, what is it with roller skates? Or is it just the going in a circle? I think it's just the going in a circle on wheels. Or the total uselessness of the whole thing? Whatever...wheels here we come.

Same old same old....Curves, got set up on the Smart thing which adds some challenge to the whole thing.....I need imposed challenge lol......came home, got changed.....wore my old lady suit jacket I neglected to mention getting yesterday and went to the care center place. I was just finishing putting up the signs from before and one lady evidently thought I was someone official because she really wanted to talk about stuff, I told her repeatedly I was nobody official but she kept going back to it lol.....but we had a nice 45 minute talk. It must have been the old lady suit jacket that made me look officious or something .....the lady who sent me out with the signs probably wondered where the heck I got to. Heading out of there got a text from Jeff about walking at 12:12.....it was a symetrical time or something....so texted him back and asked if he wanted ice cream :D....I got my ice cream in the park . Also got to swing but that does NOT make me a swinger. Or maybe it does? What are the rules on that terminology? Anyway....I haven't had a real ice cream cone in a long time and it was good....jamocha almond fudge or something like that. Tonight Anna does her cheer thing at half time of Sprague's basketball game....that child did not get that from me but I'm glad she has no fear of performance lol....poor Isaac is going to get to deal with that curse. Sorry kid. Nah.....he got some other awesome traits :D. I laways feel weird punctuating after a smiley. Like it's got a blemish or something. Oooooohhhhhh........we go roller skating tomorrow night!!!! Maybe I can talk Joe into going....or maybe not...hmmmm......I'll try. I'll just say this...if people's lives are boring it's their own doing.....I'd go watch someone else skate if I didn't want to myself. Besides where else are you going to hear Mickey anymore???? Or YMCA?????? Black Eyed Peas are coming to Tacoma I believe...taking Anna is very tempting, but probably not. Isn't that why you get teenagers? So you can get away with stuff like that? Like you have toddlers so you can steal their tater tots at restaurants.....every age child has a benefit attached. I really need to paint....or pay someone and pretend I did. Actually I want to do the one butt bathroom and paint the walls light green and the ceiling gold :D.....and since nobody but the kids use it I could get away with that.....maybe black wall and a gold ceiling? Then it would be like sitting inside a pot of gold rather than just sitting on the pot? In my mind it's a beautiful combination. The green and gold lol, not the black and gold.

Good morning....I still haven't quite figured out why the kids are ready so early lately.....other than the fact that there aren't extra kids here anymore, but still. Anyway.....I've spent the last day or two thinking of taking a Facebook vacation because while normally it works for me eventually talking to yourself gets lonely.....well I guess not lonely because of the wonderful responses from some friends :) but more because it's just the flaky side of life.....which I do adore so why am I bitching? anyway again.....and yes I know it's just a horoscope but I like this one because it frequently hits the nail on the head, so here goes......

Gemini horoscope for February 25, 2010
Your creative, offbeat nature shines today. You'll enliven any group and challenge anyone whose thinking is more narrow or traditional than yours. That means some people may not get your point, but at least you'll make them think. Maybe soon they'll realize you were right all along. Until then, keep doing what you're doing, and stay positive. It's not always easy to go it alone, but that may be your path, at least for the present.


So, it says to "keep doing what I'm doing" and the Facebook vacation is off.......at least until everyone realizes I'm right lmao. Okay......too much morning time, Jake has hand and foot cuffed Isaac with huge pipe cleaners and the dogs are attacking him, I guess small child on the floor means "dog toy".

Well....kids are all home but they dispersed quickly....Katie went to Starburst for a drink with a friends and Mom, and the boys grabbed food and ran off somewhere....so here I am, shucky darn. Let's see......all is calm in the Calvo realm once again, hallelujah, I ran around all day :) and just got back. Curves, care center, sushi, Goodwill, and walking....a well spent day.....oops brb.....reminded myself I should do something productive lol. So, laundry is in, dinner is cooking...little tiny chickens which will be turned into little tiny chicken and beef curry (because I have a chunk of leftover beef, I realize that chicken and beef curry is not a normal combo), and dishes done. Guess I should gather the boys and finish up their homework soon too....later. I know my Mom never had as much homework as I have now....what's up with that? Went to Goodwill for Jeans....I like getting jeans at Goodwill because they have a whole rack of stuff from every brand imagineable so you don't have to go to a billion stores and come home and still not have found any....instead there they are, one from each store or brand just waiting to see which one fits you. Kind of makes you feel special too knowing that they are just waiting for you. Men don't have this problem because they are just waists and lengths.....ocassionally there's a guy with a girl butt but not often. I also look at the jewelry because I like other peoples stuff and there's some cool stuff in there....and well, I must confess to a penchant for old lady suit jackets....and yeah I found one today and the lady I helped wouldn't help me....she said "no, sorry can't help you because that's a cool one" so I had to buy it. I helped her and told her hers didn't fit very well so she put it back.....hmmmph. Jake just ran by and kissed me...he's been rather affectionate lately lol. What else what else.....ummmm......Alice was all dolled up today and looked rather nice, she's really very pretty, particularly when she smiles.....but then most people are. So smile people. and stop wearing crew necl T-shirts....they are a bad thing. Unless you're a guy then it's ok. Jeff texted and wanted to walk so went there and got home about 5 minutes before the kids. Jake just told me he loved me...what's up with the kid? So tonight is the last night of Cheer Camp then the game....why do they call it that? It's 3 one hour sessions and a halftime performance...well, I guess I just answered my own question.....Cheer Camp is a lot shorter than 3 one hour sessions and a halftime performance. Duh. Now, I shall go get busy.

Hello....good afternoon and how do you do? I do. And I hope you do too. Waiting for the kids again, I seem to do that a lot.....but today there's an exciting twist! I'm laminating at the same time.....I can do three things at once, wait, laminate and blog.....oooohhhh......over at Sunnyside I've been invited into the more clerical eschelons...again, don't know how to spell that....don't care.....so I'm laminating signs for all the rooms and got to bring the machine home to finish since I had to run. I've also been asked to beautify all the bulletin boards the residents have in their rooms....so don't ever say I have a useless degree! Ok...the one I got maybe lol, but the one I wanted is sort of being put to use. Sort of. Anyway, I like it. I went and saw Old Dogs with Jeff last night....that was a good movie, made you, or at least me, laugh without being too goofy and came home to kidney failure. Don't ask...if you know me guess lol. Yes, the turmoil has begun, hopefully it will soon end. I really don't know what to do this time around, just keep on and wait is my approach so far. So keeping on keeping on and waiting. I'm really not an unfeeling witch but hey. So, laminating and thinking of bulletin boards. I hit 195.4 today, so that's good. That's 30 pounds now since a year ago October and I am now in the danger zone...I have never lost 30 pounds without ending up with another child.....which WILL NOT be happening. There will be NO miracle children. I've told myself once I hit 185 I'm going to go ride the carousal....I don't think I've ever ridden that one. I wonder if they have a zebra? Hmmmm.....I'd better not like, look good or anything.....shoot, didn't think of that. OK, I'll shut up. Why do I always have to shut up? I don't want to....but fine. I went and got my hair done.....now there's a concept.....I go and "get my hair done" who'd a thunk? Anyway, apparently I have fast growing hair....I never paid attention. I really like the Hair Lady, and she wears dangly earrings with glasses and doesn't look stupid so it can be done......I shall do that. Tomorrow. Anna has her Cheer Camp thing tonight again....I am so not peppy....who knows maybe I am? Nah. After that I'm going to take the rest of the kids over to what's left of Math Night......always a blast. You know, I feel like I should volunteer at the school or something but quite frankly, I don't get along with the other mothers.....and the office ladies are grumpy. So I don't. Besides, I have like hours and hours of undiluted time with my kids. You know what I think is really sad? I think it's really sad when sad people die....you really should be happy when you go. Don't you think?

I can't do hopeless and I can't pretend to do hopeless......I don't get it. I can do WTF and pissed if necessary, but hopeless eludes me. I guess in that moment right before death there might be a twinge of "Oh crap...it's hopeless" which would be where religion kicks in? I do know dealing with it is downright exhausting, fortunately....fortunately what? I don't know, I guess it just needs to be accepted that I don't get it and don't try and to get me there because I don't want to go. You can come with me if you want but I don't want to go there. That being said, we had a very nice yesterday for the boys b-day....we got up, had breakfast, opened presents, and got out the door for the coast at 9:00. We got there with only one episode of pukage!!! The weather was beautiful and the boys got something for their birthday they've never had and may never again, I get it every year :D having the good luck to have a summer birthday, but they got to have a summer day birthday and I know Jake thought it was pretty cool. Hung out there for about 5 hours and headed home, got ready for parents ect to come over. Joe came home a day early for some reason so he was here for dinner, had dinner, had cheesecake, put kids to bed, went to bed. I love hearing these boys giggle....the girls don't giggle....they're sitting next to me putting together their Lego stuff....giggling. A friend of mine said he was going to Northern Lights tonight, trying to decide if I should or not.....I shouldn't have to decide if I "should" or not, if I "want to" or not, ok...."should" not ok. Of course if I do there may be a repeat of the lawless behavior on our last walk....do I need a bad influence in my life? Someone who lives their lives flouting rules and conventions? Telling me lies and coercing me into things I know aren't right. Yeah sure....there's another bridge down the way....after leaving the beaten path and exploring the wild creekside paths....was that when I about walked over the edge? It was lol....oh yeah, if I had fallen in would I have been offered any assistance..no. I know this because I asked...he just said he'd take a picture. So I follow this renegade down little known paths and over the bridge....which I kept saying was the ONLY one......and over into the neighborhood where there is no other bridge. I knew it, well actually there was but it posted clear as day that it was for the use of the RESIDENTS and that there was no trespassing, there was even a lock on the gate! A lock! The gate wasn't closed but it did have a lock on it which must mean something......Hey I just found out the boys have imaginary friends named Jeff and Bob and that really it's just talking to your brain and they are never lonely.......good boys......anyway, yes we surry across the private bridge into the center of a residential setting and out the other side. We are very fortunate that we didn't get caught.......then the Rebel has the nerve to say "oh....there they are" to a patch of purple flowers like he knew they were there all along so he could take a picture of them. So....I'll have to see. There is Cub Scouts and Cheer Camp tonight but they're done by 8:00 and now I'm going to start talking in circles. I think I have shaken off the effects of vicarious hoplessness.......finally.....it only took big obnoxious food and get this....a huge cup of Pepsi, yes...I bought a huge cup of Pepsi and some Muchas Gracias carne asada nachos, ate most of it then felt like crap and slept for a couple hours.....but I feel much better now :). I like the word "crap" I know it's quite crude but it has a certain charm....."crap"......I think it's the hard C and the P....it's pleasing.

Wow. Is it possible for a breeze of discontent to blow through in the night? Well, I guess the largest discontent blew through somewhere else and came home......I got the kids all out of their funks before sending them off so they should be good by afternoon and I'm easy lol. Hmmmm......what can I possibly say on here.....I'll just say the roller coaster is leaving the station. Today I need to start pulling all the lose threads that are hanging, ever just kind of want to slack off? I do a couple times a year, then it gets scary and whoops, better get on that....of course I have all those perpetual slacking areas and sometimes I don't think those will change but I've kind of just accepted that that's the way those are going to be lol. BUT.....that being said I do need to pay the bills....I just don't want to. But I will. Soon, after this. OK....so I will pay bills, clean up from yesterday, finish up the laundry, go to Sunnyslope, maybe eat some celery....celery works magic did you know? Have a sit down/smack down/shape up if necessary and if all else fails go to a movie tonight. Alrighty....it's not much of a plan but it'll work.

I think I'll be up for awhile again tonight lol, darn coffee.....there's something about the combo of agave syrup and the coffee that works wonders. I was up til 4:30 last night which was a bad bad thing.....but tonight I'll actually utilize the buzz since I didn't last night. I've got to get everything ready for the boys birthday tomorrow tonight, it's just grandparents and aunts and uncles and stuff but still.....so if I get all done tonight then tomorrow we just get up, eat breakfast and head out...I ended up getting them a bunch of Lego stuff and clothes....it's kind of nice that all they want is Legos and Bionicles, easy. Maybe Joe will call but I doubt it....he's working and I know the rules (nodding wide eyed and obediently).....phbbbllltttttt on that lol. Ever feel like you've been thrown to the wolves in a way.....but I think I like the wolves. Next it'll be..."um, could you stop playing with the wolves please?" Nuh uh. Anyway.....break over, chowder calls.

Wait for kids time again. So I am. Today was very unproductive and it's just too nice a day for that but you know, sometimes you just go with it....so I've done nothing....not even dishes :D.....except talk to Alice for awhile...didn't even go to curves for reasons of my own. BRB....ok.....dishes are done and laundry is out. That's better. I got asked the other day if I was Wiccan....uhhhhhh........no? Why? lol I've been called something similar to witch but I don't think they were thinking Wiccan.....maybe they were? That would have changed the whole scenario......shoot, maybe I owe an apology hehee. Anyway, no...I'm not Wiccan.....I'm a lousy Catholic, which ironically makes me a better one I think. But that's just me. Joe is out of town for a few days and the dog just walked under me and farted. Why do they do that??? Can't they go away and do that? Then they stop and look back....yeah, that was you buster. Is the fact that the dogs are always under my feet a sign of love and devotion, insecurity, or am I just Alpha dog? They don't follow Joe around and won't listen to him, I've had to get out of bed to get them in the kitchen before because they wouldn't for Joe. I want a T-shirt that says I'm the lead dog, right after I get the Whiskey Makes me Frisky one. Since I don't think we can do the beach thing today because Katie has orchestra til 4:15 maybe we'll just pretend and throw some stuff in the bag and eat dinner at a park, tomorrow there's a 4-H meeting at 1:00 so if the weather is holding at the beach still we may head then....or Sunday lol. Sunday is the boy's birthday and I've changed plans yet again...the Walking with Dinos idea got squelched and replaced with seeing Avatar sometime next week....is that even still around? I wouldn't mind seeing it but Isaac doesn't like movies and Jake has proven in the past to be terrified of 3-D but hey.......I have Sunday lol. Somewhere I need to make a pot of clam chowder....actually 2 pots because I don't have one pot big enough.....I wish for a big pot. If I make it tomorrow then I have Sunday free and if I don't then we're a little more time crunched......dude, maybe I'll jack myself up on coffee and make it tonight!!! Ooops....since dinos is off I need to think of what to get them. Hmmmm....anyone have a large supply of large boxes? Maybe I'll make a trip to IKEA and get some lol. Last time I went I almost had the coolest hexagon box ever to bring home but I couldn't get it in the van.....sigh. Ooooh ooh....I have beef....and broccoli.....viola....dinner! That was easy...."what's for dinner?" "beef....and broccoli". I guess I should pay bills...it'll be fun because this was activity smack down AND concrete pour month and concrete was underestimated by about a freakin yard.....which meant hitting the minimum charge. Phbbblllttttt. Eh.....oh vell....and yes I meant to put a "v"...unlike most other mistakes which are just typos and since I don't read before hitting publish sometimes it's interesting lol. Anna just came in and has a sore throat....since I don't allow those she's hitting the vitamin D and pineapple....that'll do it. Because I say so.

So Anna came home from school with a fair amount of black eye make-up on......"hmmmm....you're wearing make-up" said I "uh huh" said she......"well the colors aren't the best for you I don't think" said I, "I hate it" said she. Whew. "Maybe some lighter colors if you want" said I, "no, I don't need it" said she. Good girl lol. Hit Curves again...that place is like being on a japanese gameshow....speedy music with a voice every three seconds or so "change stations now" so all these old ladies climb off their machine and onto the next....when the music stops whoever's on that butt machine over there wins a special prize!!!! OK, not really but that would be kind of cool. Went home, cleaned up, showered and went over to help Alice out with putting all her stuff where she wanted it, she just switched rooms. I brought her the fake bird from yesterday and stuck it in the birdhouse, she seemed to like it. Alice is my lady, I like the name Alice. I wanted to name Anna Alice or Daisy but Dad didn't want an old fashioned name.....Anna was going to be Hanna but then her initials would have been HO and no future middle schooler should be saddled with that, so we went to Anna...but my point is aren't Hanna and Anna old fashioned? I just said OK, sounds good and not at all old fashioned. Whatever. Katie was named after my doll I had growing up, actually still have somewhere. Katie, meet Katie... Let's see, boys birthday is on Sunday, Joe will be gone...thinking of just doing it all on Sunday and he can do something after he gets home, but then I wanted to take them to Walking with Dinosaurs for their gift which would work just fine. Dinner with the grandparents on Sunday and dinos later in the week with Daddy.....only problem is anything with six people ends up costing buucko....I have no idea how to spell that but that's what I want to say so deal......bucks. But then who cares it'll be fun. The last thing they need is more toys anyway and clothes are boring when you're a boy and eight. How did they get to be eight? How did Anna get to be fourteen? Good Lord....How old am I??? These Post-its have changed my life, it's like little sticky pieces of paper that stick anywhere!!!! I just have to look up and see al sorts of things I need to do....whoa, look at that, all sorts of stuff....I've always been a last minuter though, I aways do get done what needs to be done but it is less worrisome having it all staring at me. I hear dogs barking, kids are almost here....yippee....oh, I don't like the smell of lemon starch, it's ok then when it gets hot ew....lavendar is much nicer, sorry Joe...you get flowery.

What a beautiful day......one of those roll your window down and go for a drive days....which I did of course. I didn't intend to but I needed a fake bird after going to the retirement center, which I did after going to Curves.....so anyway before getting the fake bird I stopped in at the sushi place because I hadn't been there in a long time and well, why not? So I drove out to Lancaster to look for a bird at Craft Warehouse and did find one....it's orange and yellowish....a happy little fake bird. Anyway, they had all of their wonder boards 50% off (head droops remosefully for a second).....(then pops back up)....so I bought one ( :D )....not an outrageously sized one which I really really wanted to do but a decent sized one, now where to stash it? Or shall I just boldly display it for all to see? Yeah, display. But after that I went out 22 for a bit til it started to rain, ick....so I turned back towards the sun and did a backroad meander for about an hour, you know...you're never really lost until you admit it. I was looking for a cemetary or somewhere to pull out the blanket and enjoy the sun for a bit but no luck, usually you find one out in the boondocks somewhere. Maybe next time. I did see the cutest baby cow ever, like double take cute......cows are cute in their own cowish way but this guy was super cute.....maybe because he/she was of the longhorn variety? Are they known for uber cute offspring? They do make rather attractive adults cows? Now, it's back home and time to think about kids coming home and dinner....again.....speaking of, is there some like high cal food pills you can take? I haven't been hungry for like a month and I keep forgetting to eat which I don't want to do.....I don't really mind because I feel great but supposedly that's not a good thing to do. I always kind of figured just go with what feels good but I normally don't forget to eat lol. Maybe all my stuff has just kicked in and is working as it should? Because I'm really just not hungry. Oh well. I'm going to go play with my wonder board.....later.

Thanks to the Cupboard of Food I have found something decent for dinner.....actually most of it came from the fridge come to think of it....but the inspirational ingredient came from the Cupboard of Food. A bag of fancy noodles to be turned into fancy mac n cheese, along with half a pack of spicy sausages, leftover baked chicken, brussel sprouts...I love brussel sprouts.....and a salad. BRB.....ok, mac n cheese in the oven. It has sharp cheddar, mild cheddar and mozzerella in it...maybe a bit of a cheese fest but oh well, nobody ever died from too much cheese.....well, maybe they have but what a way to go. I'm thinking I really need shake dinner up lol, problem is I'm never hungry at dinner time and Joe hardly ever eats with us so it's whatever the kids will like....not very challenging at all. Tonight I'm thinking of having a laundry fest...to go with the cheese fest....I haven't done any all weekend and yeah, we all know where that leads. I like getting it all done and then tomorrow I can say "WOW!!! no laundry" and the next day I can put some in the washer and there's NONE in the dryer!!!!! That just makes my day. Like getting a bonus. Today Katie gave me another one of her special "compliments" that only she can come up with....."Mommy...I like the way your belly jiggles". You know, she's so sincere you really can't say anything except "thank you dear". Oh oh oh....good news, for me at least....I have a new pair of Happy Jeans! My last pair bit the dust some months ago and I've been attired, but no Happy Jeans and then suddenly this pair I've had for a long time made me quite happy when I put them on.....hmmmmm.....who'd a thunk they were there all along? Maybe I'll watch a movie while enjoying laundry fest. Melissa texted today and was in town and wanted to know if I wanted to go up to a fall with her and her Mom so I did, learned of a new napping spot :D and if I can figure out how to get there again I will be napping on Melissa's napping rock on some glorious spring day. If you see on the news that a Salem woman fell to her death at Shellburg Falls, well then we know that wasn't a very good idea don't we? But what's a life where you can't take a nap on a rock? I'm going to reinstitute beach naps too....those are awesome. Ironically, with all my running around lately I actually get more done in the house and am feeling capable of tackling the boys cub scout achievements and am thinking of actually getting a baseball mitt/glove/catching device? for when Little League revs up. Last year I was sorta lazy and just took them to the park and hit balls out for them to catch lol....run boys run. Also going to teach poor Isaac to ride his bike when we have a nice day, much like today was. Took Anna to Curves with me this morning and Katie to the Retirement center, we didn't do much today...just chair tai chi/yoga and talked...the others were going to Lum Yuen for lunch, but now Katie wants to go with me in the summer, and so does Anna.....and the boys. Back to the one Mom four kids situation lol. I modified the lame coffee maker, there was a little broken piece in there that was making it so the thing that plugged the hole when you took the pot out before brewing was done was always on plugged so I just broke the corresponding piece off too.....viola. Fixed. Whew almost forgot the most important part of dinner....brussel sprouts are now cooking. Now they should be used for breast cancer awareness.....not ugly paper towels...which come to think of it are instrumental in the production of cancer causing dioxins in the bleaching process or something unless they've changed there ways. You have no idea what I'm talking about do you? A Facebook friend posted about her ugly paper towels but that they were for breast cancer awareness so it was all good. Anyway....how come the cruciferouses aren't promoting breast cancer awareness? My doctor told me to eat broccoli for my boobs. eh....ok. I like those kinds of orders.....the other doc told me to read books lol. Speaking of, I need to get back to that one...I got to the point where it told me to do stuff by myself and well.....never got back to the book. Maybe I should....it was written by an alcoholic author so maybe it gets better. I must say...the mac n cheese looks delish....too bad I'm not hungry courtesy of the half of a pepper rope I ate in Mehama. Regardless....I must bid this adieu, I have no firm idea of how to spell that so good bye.

Howdy....Happy Valentine's Day or Anti-Valentine's Day....whichever the case may be. I apologize in advance but I'm gonna vent wee bit.....what in the heckety heck is so wrong or offensive or or or......or disapproval deserving about my Facebook page??? If you "disapprove" because what, 10 months ago I said you were annoying? If the shoe fits.......and get over it it's my right as your elder so phhbbbllltttt.......and as for the other, I find it somewhat offensive to be treated like there is something so horrible on my page that it can't even be mentioned without the proverbial sticking of your fingers in your ears and going "lalalalala....I can't hear you-oooooo". Well poop. Whatever I put on here I put because I want to, I don't care if anyone else looks at it or reads it, but I thoroughly enjoy it and a lot of it is a pretty big part of who I am, or how I am and to refuse to acknowledge any part of it is to refuse to acknowledge that part of me. So, again.....poop. And no, I'm not talking about Joe :). Maybe I should change my interests and only be interested in the weather and the vegetables and the flowers? Nah.......anyway, bowling sucked lol.....97, 96 and 117. I don't even know what to blame it on so I guess I'll just stay with bowling sucked. Ummm......don't go trying to pick up Valentine's doodads on the day because there is four of nothing left in the oddball assortment of stuff left....which is ok if there is a large selection but when it's "well three of them can get something really cool but the fourth gets um.....'that'" then it's not so good. So they all get something lame or one feels shortchanged.
Joe gave me an orchid last night....the whole orchid thing works out pretty well. I get them in the house for the months they are pretty then he takes them out and cuts them up to propagate. For some reason I really feel like fried chicken for dinner. That's unusual......and at the same time stunningly easy to prepare....hmmmmm........can I justify? No, probably not.....it's my own problem for not taking anything out of the freezer lol. At any rate I guess I'd better go figure dinner out.

Well, I woke up this morning with a monkey head on my wrist and a sparkly chest......good thing I know where I was last night or I might wonder. Went up to a friends in Beaverton , talked totally off topic-ish for a couple hours then had one of those lady parties....which is where the sparkly chest came from...you have to try all the stuff out...well, to a degree....so at the end of it all you're all lotioned, sparkly, glowy, pheromoney......a perfect state to in which to hop on Max and go to the Crystal Ballroom and listen to 80's music ...I say listen cause, yeah....I still don't dance in public. It's what I would call a hang-up....one of these days because I dance all the time at home. Anyway, having not having been on anything remotely train like in about 20 years it was fun and I've always wanted to go to the Crystal Ballroom and the huge monkey head stamp on my wrist was just a bonus.....which led me to think maybe another tattoo...I know I said I would never go there but never say never. Went to Curves....ok, that place is cool....takes all the nasty out of a gym and just gets it done, went to the Care Center yesterday and helped some residents make flower arrangements for the dining room which is quite funny in it's own way.....met one lady I think I really like, actually two....you can just see it in them. So back on Monday except I'll bring a kid along. I'm hungry.

Lights.....music....wait for kids. One of these days I'll get an organized food thing going, for now it's whaddya want? Did my first Curves workout thing.....ok, if it works that's about the easiest thing in the world....if it doesn't work then I guess it's a waste of time but since there's a whole huge business thing depending upon the programs success I will have faith that it will work. Though I think I will cheat and double it because I do like to feel something. Also went back to the, I guess I'll call it the Care Center, got semi-offered another job lol. I'm not looking for a job, ironically if I wanted one I probably couldn't find one. Anyway, I got to put name things on doors instead of help with the excercise gig, which was ok with me. I guess one of the gentlemen there likes to remove the name tags so I went around with super duper tape in an effort to thwart this particular gents enjoyment....turns out he was the fellow following me around and whistling.....sorry guy, you'll have to work a little harder now. There was this lady who sat in the hall and made random noises....I like her, you say something to her and she answers everytime....it might not make sense but that's ok. I do like old people though, they're like young people.....but old.....tomorrow we're decorating cookies. Going there does give you great incentive to take care of yourself though, I'm trying my darndest to either have a speedy demise or retain all my faculties until the end......it would be horrible to have to live being told you can't have a drink yet, you have to wait. Gosh darnit, I want my juice!!! Tonight I believe Alan, Jeff and I are walking...that's good because I farted off on this mornings walk.....let's see tomorrow I'm going to something about being madly in love with me lol......I already am....not to be too egotistical :D.......so I'll see what that is all about and it's followed by one of "those" parties and "those" parties are always fun.....and I get to break the Salem boundary oh and Joe said I could get a motorcycle.....lmao....do I strike while the iron is hot or be responsible and safe and stick with the mini-van? Yeah, ok....mini-van for now. I still want to get my kicks on route 66....and someday I will. Let's see....the boys are almost 8 so 375 days from now....then I shall. Toodles.

Seventeen minutes til the kids come home......time to catch breathe and make popcorn lol. I just got back from yesterday follow-up......went to Curves and joined, apparently made the ladies day because I thought it was cool her house burned down, maybe I need to work on my personal reactions, but hey....if your house burns down you get another one.....how is that bad? Maybe that's just my own personal view but anyway......at the end of it all she offered me a job. 15-20 hours a week.......well, I'm not really looking for one but ok....unfortunately it was the hours I need to be home with the kids so that's out, but it was kind of cool lol. "Hey, you'd be good for business.....want a job?" Must be because I rock so dang much. After that I had an appointment with the care center lady and went around the place, met Violet who used to own a Piggly Wiggly, Monty who was the Comanding Co....uhhh....how do you spell Kernal in the military style? of the National Guard for Oregon, and Hilda an Olympic gold medalist in swimming long ago enough that she got the medal from Hitler ......so tomorrw I'm going to go and help with an excercise class lol, and get this....the lady asked how good I was with computers, and I said well not great and she said well, we'd like someone to run a Facebook class.....now is that not LMAO worthy? So I said, yeah....I know Facebook. Who says there isn't a power the be? Also potentially the "Birthday Lady"......hmmm....probably could do that one too. She called me "bold and energetic", ok I guess. Ran to the library and picked up some human form pose books, swung by the insurance office because I kinda sorta forgot to pay the bill and now I wait for children. Who thought such a simple question could be such a kick in the butt? Plans for tonight? Standing around naked for prolonged periods of time.

Hello, got it all figured out now. I now know what I will be doing for the rest of my life til I figure something else out. I went downtown to get some pencils, after I went to the old people place and filled out their mongo application to volunteer as a something or other, I forgot what they called it but it sounds coolish.....and I like old people, especially old men in hats and old ladies with necklaces, I got my pencils, found the class I want to take but it started last week and I don't want to jump in late since I know nothing. I stopped in at a jeweler to ask the possibilty of gettin my moonstone bracelet filled in with the missing stones because I haven't been able to wear it since I got it and I want to, then I went around the block and the store that used to be the cool french store apparently became a cool shoe store, unfortunately it also was going out of business.....which meant 60% off almost everything. I know am the proud owner of a pair of shiny black shoes with shiny black flowers on the tops and a pair of shiny red shoes with buckles. Let's see....headed down to the Little Cannoli and bought some macaroons and bread for dinner, down to the corner and got a smallish cup of bold coffee and sat outside and had a macaroon and watched a homeless looking fellow flick cigarette butts across the sidewalk. I vaguely though of offering him a macaroon but then thought no....being homeless looking is no reason to be icky. So I didn't give him one. Oh yeah....back at the pencil store there was a note on the bulliten board wanting models for a life drawing group....did you know there were groups that got together every week and drew naked people? Anyway, called George up and went tonight to see the procedure....now if I can do that.......I need to practice. Tomorrow the library. What else did I do? Oh yeah, the normal house stuff except laundry because of the flood situation, maybe tomorrow. And caught Jeff and Alan on their last lap of walking after the naked adventure. That was a most enjoyable day. Tomorrow I call Hank and try to work out a karate schedule for Anna, who knows....maybe I'll take him up on his mom self-defense thing, oh yeah....dang, think I might make Anna happy and join Curves also. But now I'm going to go to bed and read. G'night.

Is it possible for everything to work right at the same time? Though I guess if the same thing never works right then no lol. Because at least that one thing will be there.....blasted washing machine flooded the garage again....there is a lot of water in one of those things. I figure everything out there is either really clean or really gross, everything of value is up high or in plastic so I guess the bright side is that anything that gets ruined I get to throw away. I am experiencing an excessive feeling of shallowness, why is that? And I don't think it's because of the shallow lake out in the garage....more probably because the kids are all pretty much self sufficient and not on me all the time anymore, the two extras aren't here anymore and that was really more chaotic than I realized. Everything is much more calm, smooth and ......dull. The girls have different friends that come over now but they all know how to behave.....very nice. I think I went from kid overload to "wow, nice" and now I don't know what to do. Which leads to useless and shallow, which I'm not.....so get on it girl. Find your feather. Hmmmm.......feather? Feather, feather, feather.......sounds like heather. OK, it's late. I know what I'll do, I'll go to Lifesource and peruse the bulletin board.....don't know what I'll find but maybe something. Maybe I'll take up plumbing. That would be nice, then I wouldn't have to fear the toilet. Somehow it just feels wrong to have the life I have, what have I done to deserve it and now that I have it what do I do with it? I have no challenge, no obstacles. Nothing to figure out or make work, well except the plumbing, but that's just gonna be. I guess not wanting for anything, well that's not true there are still things I want in life but they'll happen when they happen, but I guess my list of things I've been working for I've gotten. Time to expand the list to bigger and better things, maybe I'll go to the art stores and ask about painting 101. Maybe I'll learn how to walk in high heels. Now there's a goal.

They're not kids, they're speed bumps with wheels. Little kids at the skating rink are a menace. Yes, I fulfilled my hankering for roller skating today, took the kids and a few friends down to Lebanon and skated for 3 hours. Let me tell you......I most likely will be sore tomorrow. Do you think I could get away with calling the skating place the"gym" and going and "working out" a few times a week? Anna wants me to join Curves with her but honestly, I never did get into the machine thing....I don't care that much about my pecs, or my gluteus maximus for that matter.....besides what if I start to look good??? Then what? at least with roller skating I will have one awesome inner thigh and one awesome outer thigh add in the bowling and I will have one mega right arm too. Now there's a picture. We drove through and hit the dollar menu because everyone was hungry and I guess there was a muscular fellow working, I didn't see him but Anna was impressed.....so of course I made her touch my muscle and she goes "where did YOU get that?". Muscles do exist under fat. She's a lovely child, my hair looks like Johnny Depp as Willy Wonka and I look like a biker in my new coat. Thanks kid. Anyway, now we're having tacos revisited and then they will go to bed and then I think I will watch La Dolce Vita....Vida??? whichever. I've been wanting to see that since I saw Under the Tuscan Sun. Is it possible to have a mid-life crisis at 38? I don't think so because then that would mean I would be dying young and I don't plan on that, and I don't want a red sports car.....well, ok the sports car thing is starting to sound appealing, but not a red one. I just want to go to where I stopped and pick up again, and that I can do. Oh....I actually did get beer and clean my room out last night.....it's a teeny room but now it seems just the tiniest bit less teeny. I have a dream....nothing noble or inspiring, but a dream all the same. I want to have nothing in my room, ok...our room, that isn't supposed to be in a bedroom. Just bedroom stuff, that's it. Problem now is that I have a dining room with stuff that's not supposed to be in a dining room after last night. Eh....such problems.

You know the problem with thinking? I don't....let me think about it. I just know there's a problem associated with it. I think it might be that you think and then you're all ok, now what lol. It's 6:00 pm friday night, 2 hours the kids go to bed.....then what? Go to bed? Watch more Criminal Minds, or NCIS or whatever is on tonight? Ooooh....I do have La Dolce Vida I haven't watched yet....hmmmm.....possibility. I could even do that naked if I wanted. I could go to Northern Lights but the movie I want to watch is on at 8:00, I have this guilt thing on running out on the kids at bed time for some reason. Yeah, I know, I don't believe in guilt.....then a Mommy obligation? Whatever. Solitaire? With a deck of 51? Counting flowers on the wall? Actually I just need to get everything up and running again or I will go flippin' crazy......I need to get Anna's karate schedule figured out, find something to do...last year I did some stuff at the school but school people are grumpy and yeah, Little League sign-ups are tomorrow, get that going, find something for Katie, find the classes I want to take...they seem to have disappeared for the time being....find somewhere to volunteer a bit. Maybe I'll join the blasted gym....I'm actually thinking it sounds good, and anyone who knows me knows that is not normal. Aack...I attempted to do the taxes today. I think this year for the very first time I will take them somewhere.....between all of Joe's jumble of incomes this year, my apparent small business, energy efficiency measures there's just too many things I'm not absolutely sure about. I think I will go get some beer and clean my room....I'm in a mood to get rid of stuff so that's a good time to clean while under the influence. I just have to make sure to check and make sure all the kids and dogs are still here in the morning. I should have some clothes to get rid of because I have made the transition to normal sized person. I can now go into a store and pick up a large and it will fit. Dude.....no more ex-large or 1x??? Whoop whoop. Did I ever come up with the problem with thinking? I think it's because you think into things you don't normally think about then you think what the hell then you get pissed then you settle back to normal then you sit and go hmmmmmm....? I shouldn't be thinking lol. I think I'll throw caution to the wind and go get a pizza for dinner, I kind of wanted to go to Burger Basket...but the kids were all off playing and do I want to call them home to go? Not really an excuse anymore since 3 are back, but it was an excuse. Okay, I think I've figured it out......Burger Basket, beer, clean room....it'll be an adventure....like I'm 13 and can't go to the mall til my room is clean.....yeah, that's dumb. One of these days I'm just going make reservations for Breitenbush and go and spend a day or two, I think that's the only way it'll ever happen lol....see ya, I'm going....oh what? You want to come along? Devious but effective. Oooohhh....speaking of reservations I need to do that for spring break, before our wonderful spot is taken by someone else.....last year we were flanked by people who said they'd be back this year. If they are that will be nice because they had kids and it's always nice to have a flock running around. Tomorrow. Night for now.